Good father figures don’t grow on trees, and the films we love, and love to hate, continue to offer up a bevy of courageous, strong, loving dads. Father’s Day gives us a full 24-hours to appreciate the men in our lives for all they have to give us… and for those of us eyeing pops on the sidelines, it may be a washboard 6-pack set of abs or an attractively average dad-bod.
This holiday is not exclusive to the real world, though. The following characters and their respective actors set the film world aflame with their good looks, supportive attitudes, and overall dreamy demeanors – so we’ll take the time mentally wish them a Happy Father’s Day… out of respect, of course. Be sure to feast your eyes on Dad-Bods And 6-Packs before you sink your teeth into these 10 More Dreamy Dads of Horror!
Please enjoy the following father figures as they stand up against the forces of evil threatening the safety of those they hold dear. Are they perfect men? No. Even flaws are what make the horror genre so appealing to our intellectually refined film community. Are they pleasing to the eye?
Hell yeah they are.
10. Hugh Crain in The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Henry Thomas (Ouija: Origin of Evil) and Carla Gugino (Gerald’s Game) make quite an exquisite looking couple in Mike Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House, but that isn’t all there is to love about Thomas’ dedicated father character, Hugh Crain. It could be the nostalgia talking, but Hugh Crain’s soft demeanor and doe-eyed sweetness is a little hard to resist, especially when he’s faced with rescuing his family from the terrors of Hill House. He’s aged extremely well if you can keep yourself from seeing him as Elliot in E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial… or as Timothy Hutton.
9. Tom Engel in Krampus (2015)
There’s a lot of things we can wish for Santa Claus to gift us on Christmas Day, but it’s the delivery from Krampus that we desire most. The ever-charismatic Adam Scott (Parks and Recreation) wraps a perfect ribbon on the down-to-earth, semi-sarcastic, cute dad Tom Engel in Michael Dougherty’s (Trick r’ Treat) festive tale, Krampus. Tom keeps himself calm and quick when things go berserk, a common holiday happening when the evil entity comes to town, braving Krampus’ yuletide wrath in order to save his obnoxious family. Christmastime brings out a lot of ugly, but Scott always makes mayhem look cool.
8. David Drayton in The Mist (2007)
Thomas Jane, The Punisher himself, adds an emotional level of steaming hot bravery to Frank Darabont’s creepy adaptation of Stephen King’s short story, The Mist. Though David Drayton’s small town finds itself engulfed in a mysterious thick mist swarming with enormous killer insects from another dimension, the biggest question still remains unanswered: Why did Mrs. Carmody focus all of her doomsday fixation on The Book of Revelations when she could have spent the end of days happily trapped inside a (fully-stocked) grocery store with a hunk like David? David’s fatherly heartbreak at the end is pretty traumatizing, but I couldn’t help thinking that the man is still pretty to look at even when he ugly-cries.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m going straight to Hell for that one.
7. Josh Lambert in Insidious (2010)
It doesn’t matter which realm of the Waniverse Patrick Wilson resides in, he easily adapts to the role and has us swooning for most of it, aside from his random Elvis ballad in The Conjuring 2. We count that in on the hotness scale? Okay, you talked me into it. His role as Josh Lambert, an average father haunted by his repressed realm travel (not between Waniverses, but between the living and the dead) that he has unfortunately passed on to his youngest son kicks off his long line of work with James Wan in Insidious. That smoldering stare keeps us coming back for more and more and more… sequels… and prequels.
6. Dr. John Collingwood in The Last House on the Left (2009)
Revenge is always kind of hot. Okay, righteous revenge is always hot. When Tony Goldwyn is not causing a Scandal, he’s prescribing the correct dose of sweet revenge to the group of ingrates who raped and left his daughter for dead in Dennis Iliadis’ remake of Wes Craven’s shocking The Last House on the Left. He’s handy when it comes to putting together homemade devices ranging from resuscitation to punishment, surprising all predators that dare underestimate his doctoral smarts for weakness. Big brains are hot too… just not the microwaved kind.
5. Pastor Jacob Fuller in From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Age ain’t a thing when you kick it old school with Robert Rodriguez’s seedy vampire western, From Dusk Till Dawn. I’ll say it: Harvey Keitel (Reservoir Dogs) as Jacob Fuller, a pastor trying to keep his daughter and adopted son alive through a night of bank robbing debauchery, is a fox. Not as in The Wolf, but a stone cold fox. When it comes to the flaming licks of undead bar vamps, we’re not going to cling to the leg of Seth Gecko (not in the case of this list anyways), when we’re too busy wrapping ourselves around the leg of a mean m***er f***ing servant of God.
Or at least that’s where you’ll find me.
4. Quinn McKenna in The Predator (2018)
The Predator franchise added some modern spices to Shane Black’s The Predator, one particular ingredient being the delicious Boyd Holbrook (Logan). His ex-soldier character, Quinn McKenna has that bad boy X-factor, but a heart of gold when it comes to his wife and son, who inadvertently triggers the big bad space hunters’ return to Earth. Not to mention, Quinn’s tough, rugged exterior is extremely easy on the eyes. He brings on the big guns just in time to save the planet, no matter how far-fetched the resulting sequence of events may be.
3. Lucas Desange in Mama (2013)
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau was close to being ousted from this list due to the horrendous misgivings of his king and heart slaying Game of Thrones character, but I decided it is necessary to separate the two for the genre’s sake. Lucas is cool calm, eclectic, and responsible when it comes to taking in his twin brother’s feral daughters (Yup! There’s two Nikolajs in this for the price of one) and their supernatural woodsy warden. Fortunately for us viewers, he’s incapacitated for most of Andy Muschietti‘s (IT) Mama as there’s no way of telling how bad he could’ve messed things up with his love interest, Jessica Chastain’s (Dark Phoenix) Annabel, if he were conscious enough to make all the wrong decisions…
I apologize. He’s still Jaime to me. Handsome and stupid. Damn him.
2. Gabe Wilson in Us
If you’re attracted to a man that is willing to take charge and provide some comic relief, Winston Duke (Black Panther) as Gabe Wilson in Jordan Peele’s (Get Out) Us is just the kind of man for you. He’s the masculine kind of guy that is not afraid to nut-up, but knows when to shut up (and get back inside the house). Gabe is big, strong, and relentless when it comes to protecting his family from… themselves. Be careful though, this tall drink of water is tethered to a more oafish grunt-version of himself. Both are still good looking fathers, nonetheless.
I dig a great pair of horn-rimmed glasses.
1. Evan Webber in Knock Knock (2015)
Easily the naughtiest daddy on the list, we’ll give Keanu Reeves’ (John Wick) Evan Webber a Father’s Day weekend Hall Pass. A pass that is, debatably, forced upon him in Eli Roth’s (Hostel) Knock Knock. Evan is a great dad and wonderful husband, but his loyalty is truly tested when two very attractive, very fast-paced young women show up at his door while his family is away. We can hate him for giving in and feel only a twinge of sympathy as the seductive and tortuous escapades get worse by the hour, but Keanu Reeves is Keanu Reeves. We’ll just call his mistake in Knock Knock one excellent adventure and move on from it, like mature adults. He’s the most bodacious dad in Roth’s cinematic world, all jokes aside.
Most importantly, these men prove it takes more than six-pack abs, a comfy dad bod, chiseled features, and a powerful physique to keep the evils of the world (and others) at bay. These fine fathers put compassion, understanding, dignity, faith, honor, loyalty and love above all else, just like good dads should. Good hot dads.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the real fathers, biologically or not, that makes our whole families and communities so wonderful. You all are the true hot dads of horror.