Over the years, Jason Voorhees has been through the ringer. Heck, Jason has been through many ringers. With the release of each and every installment, fans of the Friday the 13th film series get more and more eager to see what new look the producers and makeup department have in store. With all of the details meticulously placed in the evolving art of the “Voorhees Look”, one small detail has eluded fans for decades; After decades of damage and death, what does Jason smell like?
Logistically speaking, despite a keen ability to sneak up undetected and ambush hundreds of victims over the years, Jason Voorhees has got to smell pretty terrible. The man has been burned, buried and shot enough times to make even the strongest counselor wince in rancid, nasal distress. So with that in mind, let’s take a look at the different factors that might make everyone’s favorite camper reek of peculiar unpleasant odors.
10. Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Friday the 13th Part III ushered in a new dimension in terror. At least that was the idea, anyway. For this new technologically advanced (3D) installment, in the “Golden Era” of the series, we find Jason all cleaned up and freshly shaved for the occasion. The Hockett’s clothesline behind their country store proves very convenient in aiding Mr. Voorhees with his new look and style. His new hockey mask is freshly off-white, which could only mean that this Jason is the most pleasant to share a jammed taxi with on a hot July afternoon.
9. Freddy VS. Jason (2003)
In the beginning of Freddy VS. Jason, our favorite hockey masked hero/villain is resurrected, presumably soon after his stint in Hell mingling with demons and unprecedented evil. Some would argue that this Jason has been “re-born”, with a new lease on death. With his sleek, bald head recently polished, he’s hitting the town and ready to mingle. You have got to look good for your big day, am I right? Jason definitely stinks in this chapter, and not only because he’s been spending his off time at every gym between Crystal Lake and Springwood in hostile anticipation for the “Match of the Century”, generating enough sweat to drown his former young self. Freddy never seemed to notice Though. And you know that we all would have heard a wisecrack or two about it from old Mr. Krueger if he had. To be fair, Freddy has not had a very keen sense of smell ever since his own untimely demise.
8. Friday the 13th (1980)
Jason was just your average, irregular young boy when he tragically drowned on his 11th birthday in the murky depths of the now infamous Camp Crystal Lake. Most young adolescent boys tend to smell a bit when they are alive let alone when they are questionably dead, throwing Young Jason towards the smelliest slice of the raunchy pre-teen pie chart. Alice Hardy was obviously aghast by the prepubescent algae driven force of odor that she tipped her canoe in sheer terror.
7. Friday the 13th The Final Chapter (1984)
A familiar Jason, with a slightly fermented musk. Take Part III Jason, give him a terrible hangover, and you’ve got yourself a Jason that is the final chapter in the stink-enthusiast’s handbook. The gash on his forehead is getting infected, and his clothes are getting dingy after an all-nighter over at Higgin’s Haven. AND he walked all the way home from the morgue, which deserves at least a fresh pair of socks.
6. Jason Goes To Hell The Final Friday (1993)
This odd duck finds himself near the middle of the list simply because, even though Jason resembles a steaming pile of disguised cow chips, fans will to this day complain that he is not physically in this film very much. When he does make an appearance, he really does look as though he smells like the Hell in which he is about to endure. The tired and solitary Crystal Lake stalker clumsily roams the familiar terrain with a stumbling accuracy that only a man-child, possessed with a demon baby-turd could. All signs point to gross.
5. Friday the 13th (2009)
Pot farmer Jason has been tending to his plants, ripping off his neighbor Donny’s kerosene, sleeping away the days in a hot, sweaty cabin in the woods. One day, annoying teenagers come to visit and leave their perfumed city-kid trail in his woods. Jason is drenched in the smoke of a real campfire, and a cavalcade of gratuitous weed and sex scenes leaving the monster reeking of, well, camping. 75% of horror fans agree: This Jason Stinks.
4. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
That cloth on his head isn’t very white any more. Jason let himself go while everyone was staying away from the area for those five restful years, and he hadn’t picked up his place once in that time. Not to mention the fact that he’s keeping his mother’s corpse in the living room like a dang conversation piece!
At least he lit some candles.
3. Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood (1988)
You can almost see Jason’s bad breath in this one. Through his beautifully crafted bag-of-bones, roadkill look, and his stench can only get worse after being charred by Tina in the last act. The house which ultimately fell on his noggin has a terrible case of black mold, a real displeasure for anyone still with a nose on their face. Luckily for Jason, Tina’s father does him a huge favor by pulling him back into his usual comfortable bath of Crystal Lake.
2. Friday the 13th Part 6 Jason Lives (1986)
The first Zombie Jason! Several years of resting underground collecting maggots on your face will not come without at least putrid whiff or two, to put it nicely. Find me another person in 1986 getting paint-balled while listening to the latest Alice Cooper tape and I will point out a certifiably smelly middle-aged dude. The kind of guy who never washes his hands after taking a dump in a Winnebago. And you know what mother always said: “Show me your friends and I will show you your character”. Safe to say that mingling around with these fart-heads only made Jason more “odoriferous”.
1. Friday the 13th part 8 Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
This is it. The Brooklyn Harbor swimming, toxic-wasted slimy stowaway. This Jason has got to be the worst smelling one of them all. The best advice I ever received while in a New York subway tunnel was “Don’t touch anything”. Half of the studied DNA in subway cars is from unknown organisms. Metropolitan Jason has ZERO problem getting his hands dirty, or getting up close and personal with the neon slime collected by nearby trash barrels.
After this water-logged episode of the Jason saga he had to take a few years off to get his act together. He couldn’t sneak up on anyone without cleaning off in the Atlantic Ocean on his way back to Camp Crystal Lake first.