Everyone loves a sweet comeback or roast, and there’s no better time to celebrate these quips than Nightmare on Film Street’s Hot As Hell Month! Get your ice packs ready as we recount the 10 Sickest Burns in Horror!
10. The Lost Boys (1987)
“You’re a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait ’till mom finds out, buddy!” – Sam Emerson
When brothers Michael and Sam Emerson move to the murder capital of the country, the last thing they expected was dealing with vampires. But when Sam realizes his brother has joined the ranks of the undead, he’s got some choice words for the fledgling bloodsucker – or should I say shit-sucker!
9. The Devil’s Rejects (2005)
“Well if you’d give me a chance, I was gonna call you a crazy, pig-fuckin’, dumbass, pussy piece of shit!” – Captain Spaulding
The Firefly family isn’t really known for their pleasant personalities. On the run from the law, Baby, Otis, and Captain Spaulding have no shortage of insults to sling at those they come across. Probably the best one comes when the family is held at gunpoint by longtime family friend Charlie who interrupts Spaulding as he begins his mockery. Luckily, Charlie gives him a chance to finish his sentence, giving us this gem!
8. Predator (1987)
“You’re one… *ugly* motherfucker!” – Dutch
Predator (1987) is a simple film about some beefy commandos who are hunted by an alien predator. So, fittingly, their insults are simple. When you’re staring into the Predator’s multi-jointed fang-claw mouth and his beady little black eyes what else is there to comment on? Though, it’s really Arnold Schwartzenegger’s delivery that gives this line its renown.
7. It (2017)
Richie Tozier : I hear the list is longer than my wang.
Stanley Uris : That’s not saying much.
While it’s well known that It’s Richie Tozier is one of horror’s greatest wisecrackers, the best burn from the 2017 film actually comes from Stanley and in response to Richie. For Richie to be roasted so thoroughly by arguably the most uptight of the group really adds insult to injury!
6. Donnie Darko (2001)
Elizabeth: You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?
Whether or not you consider Donnie Darko a horror film, it certainly has some horror elements: ghost bunnies with empty eye sockets, planes falling out of the sky, suburbia in general! The best line in the film, though, is between Donnie and his sister at the dinner table. I don’t know if you’ve ever told anyone to “suck a fuck,” but it’s really a great way to stump them!
5. Sorority Row (2009)
“Jessica: I’m gonna deal with you later!
Maggie: You might wanna deal with that hair first, because it looks like shit.”
Sorority Row (2009) is kind of all over the place when it comes to horror film. Not only have you got a prank gone wrong, but you’ve also got a deranged serial killer preying on the sorority a la Black Christmas. However, if there’s one thing to be said about the film is that it’s chock full of bitchiness as evidenced by this line. Honestly, in a film that ends in a literal blaze, it’s full of some great burns!
4. Urban Legend (1998)
“You should check her pulse, she’s been like that for years.” – Unnamed Bitchy Girl
In the same vein of college slashers, Urban Legend (1998) offers a discount version of the meta horror Scream introduced two years prior. Despite jumping on the bandwagon, we do get some pretty cool kills. This brutal burn is perhaps a little insensitive as it refers to a dead roommate, but perhaps that’s why the line is only credited to “Bitchy Girl!”
3. Jennifer’s Body (2009)
Needy Lesnicky : I will finish you if I have to.
Jennifer Check : Ok, you can barely finish gym class.
Diablo Cody is known for her quippy dialogue and this is true for Jennifer’s Body (2009) as well. The list of teen angsty lines would include the majority of the script, but this line in particular speaks to not only the wittiness and venom of Jennifer, but also to her relationship with Needy and how she perceives her childhood friend. This burn is deep!
2. Death Proof (2007)
“…everybody I ever meet goes in this book. And, now I’ve met you, and you’re going in the book! Except, I’m afraid I must file you… under… ‘chicken shit.’” – Stuntman Mike
Stuntman Mike is really one to talk with his “chicken shit.” He knows that the insult will get him what he wants, but we all know who the real chicken shit is. It doesn’t take a lot of guts to terrorize a group of girls in your death proof car, and this becomes painfully clear after he picks on the wrong group of girls. Kurt Russel whining and begging under the boot of one of these girls is a fitting end for someone who calls other chicken shit!
1. Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Billy: Eat shit and die, Ricky!
Ricky: Eat shit and live, Bill.
It’s saying something when the first quote for Sleepaway Camp’s IMDB page is this one. The film itself is a cult classic for many reasons, but everyone can agree that this quote right here is one of those reasons. Ricky is likely used to doling out this level of fire since he’s always protecting his cousin Angela. If you’ve never seen this one, you owe it to yourself to check it out if only for the sick burns!
I’m sure I missed a ton of Sick Burns in Horror, so sound off on our Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook page with your suggestions!