Sometimes, being a servant of God just isn’t enough, at least in Brendan Steere’s new film, The VelociPastor. Yes, you read the title correct, and yes it is about a pastor who turns into a velociraptor, which could be perhaps the most insane film premise I’ve ever seen. This schlocky creature feature has everything: priests, dinosaurs, love interests, ninjas, did I mention dinosaurs? Its subpar acting and low-budget visual effects could just guarantee this film cult status.
So you may be wondering: how exactly did this priest become a velociraptor? A valid question, but one we do not have an answer to quite yet. I sincerely hope he’s bitten by a were-dinosaur, but The VelociPastor couldn’t be that ridiculous. Or perhaps they’ll subvert all expectations. A man turns into a ninja-eating velociraptor, after all. Anything could happen.
This is the official synopsis:
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.
Why does he go to China? Why are did the ninjas follow him home? Does he renounce God after his transformation? Why is the trailer’s narrator Australian? There are so many questions and I cannot wait to get the answers.
Greg Cohan stars as Doug Jones, our very own VelociPastor who fights evil ninjas with his jaws of prehistoric steel. The film will also star Alyssa Kempinski (Heart of the Beast), Daniel Steere, Yang Jiechang, Jesse Turits, Fernando Pacheco de Castro, and Aurelio Voltaire (Dead West). This is many of the cast’s first feature film.
If anything, The VelociRaptor has grabbed our attention. It could wander into too-self-aware territory, but hopefully it will be a fun, ridiculous romp that will make it into late-night screening rotations. It is currently making the festival circuit, and coming to VOD this August.