As we near the September 4 premiere date of The Purge television series, the USA network is broadcasting a series of shorts in a creepily accurate format: The Purge Shopping Channel. Because why spend time running around an already picked clean department store when you can order Purge goods from the comfort of your own home?

Need to keep the room lit as someone breaks your door down? A 12-Hour Purge Candle will do the trick! Snuggling up with your sweetheart for a night of Purge entertainment? The His & Hers Body Armor (with Bonus Pet Armor) set is the perfect choice. Want your children to join in on the fun? Try a My First Purge Locket and keep those blood-soaked memories forever. Some of the other fine products available are Purge-Away Stain Remover, a “Celebrate the 28th” Cake Cutter Set, The Patriot’s Pack, and Purge Greeting Cards. The Purge Shopping Channel offers great deals for everyone’s favorite American holiday.

 

 

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And the fun doesn’t stop there, folks! All these goodies are wrapped up in a special 15-minute infomercial led by hosts Carson Cruz and Rachel Stamp. Make sure to stay tuned for a chance at real-life giveaways from The Purge Shopping Channel itself. Even the New Founding Fathers can’t resist!

Still want more? Visit their (totally not real) website for personalized E-cards, Purge Night tips and, most importantly, your first looks at the television series. This is your one-stop-shop for Purge fans of any caliber. So even though the products on the site are just for funsies, you can still participate with snippets of video and digital goods that’ll last you through the weekend.

Catch this 7-part series on USA’s sister channel, SYFY on September 1, and maybe you too can be part of a nation reborn with your hot new Purge gear!

 

 

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