Being a true horror fan means developing a certain taste for trashy cinema. Itโs like cheap beer; you know itโs terrible, but you canโt get enough of it. Camp Death III in 2D is pure trash and proud of it. Despite what the title might suggest, there are no previous Camp Death installments (at least, none that I can find online). Rather, it serves as a parody of Friday the 13th Part III, a film that made waves with its 3D special effects, yet couldnโt be redeemed with its terrible plot.
Itโs been three years since Camp Crystal Meph has been shut down after the murderous rampage of Johann Van Damme was put to an end by a foul-mouthed puppet. With Johann safely locked up in the asylum (but not for long), the camp is re-opened as a rehabilitation center for the criminally insane.
Crystal Meph is run by a team of grossly unqualified counselors: thereโs the head counselor, Tood, a hopeful wimp ready to burst into tears at a momentโs notice. Joining him is his verbally abusive Uncle Mel, who keeps getting attacked in the face by the same damned squirrel. Toddโs love interest, Rachel, is a traumatized survivor of Johannโs previous massacre. And finally, thereโs Barry, wheelchair-bound and the butt end of way too many handicap jokes.
The campers are a batch of stereotypes and two-dimensional characters, and for good reason: thereโs no point in getting attached as theyโre quickly killed off one-by-one. The masked menace that is Johann has returned to Crystal Meph to finish what he has started. For each of his victims, he comes up with a creative ways of killing them โ whether itโs with a toaster, a plunger or a chocolate bar.
The legend of Johann Van Damme emulates that of Jason Voorhees of the first three Friday the 13th movies. It begins with Johannโs mother. Driven mad by her son contracting scurvy, she goes about slaughtering innocent campers until being beheaded by a final girl. The next summer, Johann picked up where his mother left off, but was thwarted by yet another final girl.
With a budget of only $35,000, itโs apparent that director Matt Frame had no choice but to make an overly campy film. It has all the ingredients of a โbadโ horror movie. The acting is purposely exaggerated. The additional recorded dialogue is out of sync with the actor. The CGI is so atrocious that it makes Birdemic look like a work of art. The plot holes are directly addressed and then immediately shrugged off. The gore effects are blatantly fake. The beauty of all of this is that itโs all intentional. It doesnโt pretend to be anything but a goofy B-movie. I can just imagine Frame looking at a scene and thinking โHow can we make this dumber?โ
There are times when the character interaction becomes chaotic and the overacting becomes increasingly annoying, but there are still some memorable (and a few gross-out) moments. My personal favorite scene is when an oblivious police officer gives Johann a tutorial on the best stabbing points on the human body, demonstrating on himself. The film reaches peak ridiculousness during an anti-gravity bike chase through the woods in a tribute to the Endor from Star Wars Episode VI.
There are many elements that make Camp Death III in 2D wholly unique. Thereโs puppets, musical numbers and a twist ending thatโs surprising as it is stupid. The final showdown devolves into a psychotic nightmare. Whatever little sanity was present at the beginning is blasted into space by the end. Even the closing credits are driven way off course.
The runtime is mercifully short. Iโve seen my fair share of trashy films that were funny for the first 45 minutes, but by the second hour became excruciating. Had this film went over its 85-minute mark, I would have choked on my own annoyance.
Being a true horror fan isnโt all screams and sadism. Itโs important that we laugh once in a while, and realize that many of the franchises that we hold dear are just as goofy as the movies that parody them. The humor of Camp Death III in 2D is no way clever. Itโs the type of comedy that would make a kindergartener squirt their chocolate milk from their nose. But I dare you to watch it and not chuckle at least once. Itโs damn near impossible. To quote the equally outrageous trailer, โthis film is about as subtle as a rock to the face.โ