Sharks have come a long way in the last 50 years. Back in my day, a person would have to be swimming in the ocean to get eaten up by a shark but those days are no more! In Morihito Inoue’s goofy gory Hot Spring Shark Attack, nothing can stop these aquatic killing machines. Fresh water, salt water, plumbing pipes, pavement(!) – the sharks in Hot Spring Shark Attack can swim, squirm, and conjure their way through literally anything. And they only thing stopping them from chomping their way through the entire city is a dedicated marine biologist, an out-of-his-depth mayor, a mysterious semi-superhero muscleman, and a grizzled street cop who shoots the words “NO SWIMMING” into the beach sand 😂
In keeping with the long tradition of Bad CGI set out by our intrepid forefathers Birdemic & Sharknado, Hot Spring Shark Attack is pure lo-fi lunacy. How many pixels does it take to render a lifelike shark? I don’t know, but neither do the creators of this zany flick. And rather than shying away from its budget or low budget look, the movie leans hard into its own limitations and never pretends to be something it’s not. If you want to see overworked tropes get lampooned, watch a bunch of braindead influencers get swallowed whole, or just laugh at the absurdity of a 30-foot shark that can squeeze into a hot tub to sneak up on its prey, you’ve come to the right place.
“Hot Spring Shark Attack is pure lo-fi lunacy.”
It’s not really that important how these sharks are able to pull of such wild matter-bending moves. The important part is that we are all lucky enough to live in a time and a place where a masterpiece of junk food cinema like Hot Spring Shark Attack can thrive. Suffice to say, these are ancient sharks with very malleable skin (and a coupe other absurd tricks) that basically allows them to squeeze into tight spaces and make any environment a swimmable body of water. Highways, city parks, a toilet – these are all shark hunting grounds now, and their presence threatens the success of a new hot spring spa that is set to open very soon…so long as the entire city hasn’t been eaten by sharks before the grand opening.
Movies like Hot Spring Shark Attack are infinitely better with a crowd. It’s easy to roll your eyes at home alone but laughing with other people immediately makes a movie this silly an absolute party. Seeing movies like this with a group of strangers all laughing along at the madness unfolding on the screen is how memories are made. No one talks fondly of the times they had a small chuckle on their couch alone. Like Terrifier or even the upcoming Toxic Avenger, THESE are the movies keeping the theatre going experience alive (as far as I’m concerned). Hot Spring Shark Attack hits select theatres July 11 and if it’s been a while since you’ve had a good night out at the movies, you might want to consider buying a ticket for this ridiculous shark obsessed mockbluster.
Let us know what you thought of Hot Spring Shark Attack over in the Nightmare on Film Street Discord! Whether you were lucky enough to see it in theatres with a crowd, or at home on Cable/VOD with a group of friends and a stack of pizzas, we want to hear from you! Social Media is a cesspool. Join us in the Discord where all the cool creeps hang out.
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