Michael Myers is the greatest slasher of all time. Oh, I’m sorry, were you not warned that you would be entering the #FactsOnly Zone when you clicked on this article? Well, you’re there, and from here on out you will be subjected to (you guessed it) #FactsOnly.

Hyperbole aside, Michael Myers is the greatest slasher villain of all time. It’s not really even that close. Jason? No way. He is a Myers rip-off that had to go all the way to space to get really scary. Freddy? Please. He’s pretty powerful, sure, but only if you remember him and are afraid of him. So, while I just scientifically proved that Michael is the greatest slasher of all time, his design has been something of a mixed-bag over the years.

Sometimes he’s a blank canvas to project our own internal horrors onto. Sometimes he is an aged man, with the wrinkles and wounds of a lifetime of hate. Other times he has a dad-bod and looks like someone who had never seen a Halloween movie drew on his eyebrows with a Sharpie. Like I said, it’s a mixed-bag. Let’s take a look back at all the different versions of Michael’s mask and rank them from worst to best.

10. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

return of michael myers halloween 4
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What can I say? This isn’t good. It’s like the people responsible for returning Michael Myers to Haddonfield had actually never seen a Halloween movie. All definition was stripped away from the original look and they gave him a slicked-back hairstyle for the ladies. It’s hawt.

This mask was so damn flimsy that it wobbled and folded itself throughout the film. I realize that you want Michael to be a blank slate, so you can project your fears onto him, but this is a little too blank of a slate. They may have turned him into Michael with the good hair, but  they took away all of his lips. He’s very un-kissable now. Also, the lack of definition gave Michael a puzzled look like he’s a janitor who stumbled across an equation on the blackboard and just started stabbing it as an answer.

 

9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

halloween 5 revenge
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The producers of the fifth installment of the series must have gotten all of my “no-lips-no-kiss” warning letters back in the 80’s. For this film, they gave Michael all of the lips and a slender, duck-face-selfie face. It’s still pretty hawt, but we know that we can do better.

 

This installment is supposed to have picked up right after the events of Halloween 4, which is weird because he looks nothing like he did in the previous movie. At this point in the series, Michael is becoming this supernatural killing machine and he spent some of his magic mojo on growing his hair out. Good for him. Yas queen.

 

8. Halloween II (2009)

halloween 2 2009
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Michael had a rough night in the first installment of Rob Zombie’s remake series, and his mask definitely shows it. I love the look of the mask (especially the hair), but it shows far too much of Michael’s face by the end of the movie.

I know, I know. RZ’s whole point of his remakes is to show Michael as a man and not a mythical killing machine. I like what he did to show this through his storytelling, but not the mask itself. As we said several times already, the beauty of Michael’s mask is its blankness. We can see ourselves in it. When I am looking at half of Tyler Mane’s gorgeous face, however, it removes the mystery and the fear for the killer. He becomes a man. If that’s what Zombie wanted, he succeeded in spades, but it’s not what makes a great Michael Myers mask.

 

7. Halloween: Resurrection

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Halloween: Resurrection is perfect. I’m sorry that you live in a world filled with hate and can’t recognize its beauty. I mean, Busta Rhymes talks enough shit to Michael Myers, a being of pure evil hell bent on murder, to convince him to not kill him (momentarily, at least). Busta Rhymes Hi-yah’s Michael Myers’ ass out straight out of a window. He also says, “Trick or Treat, Motherf**ker!” whilst hitting Michael in the chest with a shovel. Come on, that’s pretty great. The mask, however, is not so great.

 

It’s hard for me to point to a specific thing about this mask that bothers me. All I know is that it really doesn’t work for me. His mouth looks like a combination of a Planet of the Apes extra and Homer Simpson. His eye-holes are too big and it looks like someone from the makeup department drew his eyebrows on with hate. He also has had some shading done around his lips and someone contoured his cheekbones. It’s very 30 Seconds to Mars of him. I don’t know what it is specifically. It’s probably a combination of all of it.

 

6. Halloween: H20

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As we get further down the list, we are going to be splitting a lot of hairs. None of these masks are terrible, but there are slight differences that make them not as special as the best. This mask (or should I say masks, since they used four different ones for the film [including one made entire of 1998 CGI]) is very close to the original. It’s just long and kinda weird.

The mask that we see the most of in H20 was made by master sfx artist Stan Winston and it is pretty close to what they were going for with the original. His face just looks really long in the mask. Also, they opened up his eye-holes and made the mask tighter on the face, which makes Michael’s eyeballs stand out like he’s super surprised that LL Cool J was in this movie. There are a few scenes where you see the actor’s eyelashes sticking out of the mask. I’m not saying that’s a deal-breaker, but combined with the other mask hijinks in H20, I can’t rank it any higher.

 

5. Halloween II (1981)

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The reason that this iteration of Michael’s mask is so low isn’t because of the design. It’s the exact same mask that they used during the first film. Seriously. It was stuck under Debra Hill’s bed for the three years in-between movies. They pulled it out and slapped it on a different actor, and that’s what makes it lose points in my book.

 

First of all, the mask has obviously aged. It is stained and is completely unkempt. This movie takes place minutes after the first, so the mask really shouldn’t have aged at all during that time. Also, the actor playing Michael in this film was much bigger than the diminutive Nick Castle. This stretched out the mask and gave Michael a wider nose and jawline. He looked bloated. Now, I am the proud owner of a Dad-bod, so I won’t judge someone for being a little puffy, but it completely changed the look of the mask and made him look like a swollen hobo.

 

4. Halloween (2007)

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Say what you want about Rob Zombie’s 2007 remake (and I’m sure that you will), but his version of Michael Myers was crazy-scary. This dude was a beast, and his mask matched his persona perfectly. It’s not a perfect mask, mind you, but you can get away with a less-than perfect mask when your actor is 6’8” and weighs 300 pounds.

I love how rotten and aged the mask looks in this film. It’s an outward representation of the decaying mind of Michael Myers. Much like the mask, Michael’s mind never left Haddonfield, and it was left there to fester until he was able to retrieve it and become whole again. The only thing I don’t care for as much as the other masks is the color. It’s a little too silver in some shots for my money, but other than that, it’s scary, it’s intimidating, and I love it.

3. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

michael myers halloween 6
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Halloween 6 has a lot going for it. It has Michael Myers, a knife, a cult, and Paul Rudd. It’s also nonsensical and a perfect movie in every way. Oh, what’s that? You don’t like this movie? Well, CONGRATULATIONS! You just won an invitation to catch these hands!

For my money, this is as close as the original sequels got to capturing the magic of the original. Its hair is shorter than in 5 (s/o Cult of Thorn hairstylists), it has just the right amount of definition and the eyes stay hidden a lot better than in the other movies. It’s not perfect, don’t get me wrong. This mask has two things bringing it down. First of all, it’s lumpy. It looks like the blind girl from Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello” video sculpted it out of the heaviest clay ever. Also, the ears are way too low on the head. He looks like an alien. Not like a sexy alien, either. Like a Mac and Me alien. Hang on. Nope, I’m feeling that. Still sexy.

 

2. Halloween (2018)

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Spoiler Alert: I haven’t seen this movie yet. I know, I am a lame. I have lost my Horror Twitter Membership Card for 3 months because of it, but come on, I have a kid. It’s hard to go to the theater and see a kick-ass horror film when your child is always “hungry” or “scared”.

From what I have seen of the mask, however, is almost perfect. It looks like a perfect replica of the 1978 mask, only 40 years older. Now, in real life, this mask would be dust in the wind after 40 years, but in movie-life, it looks perfectly aged. I love all of the details that they added to the mask from the 1978 original, like the hole in Michael’s neck from Laurie’s knitting needle, and the un-even eyes. Even his hair looks like the original. Some of the jowl shading and forehead wrinkles are a little exaggerated and makes him look like a killer grandpa, but other than that it’s almost perfect.

 

1.Halloween (1978)

john carpenter Halloween 1978 michael myers horror classic slasher
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You all know what it is. The original is, by far, the best mask in the series. It doesn’t even make sense to place a different mask above it in any type of rankings. I watched one video where someone did just that, ranking 1981’s Halloween II’s mask above it. That’s certifiable crazy talk.

 

This is the perfect mask and what drove a lot of the success of the film. Like I mentioned before, the blank stare of Michael Myers is what creates the fear we associate with the film. We project ourselves, or the faces of our tormentors onto him. He can be anybody in the crowd, or in line at the grocery store. Everyone around you has the capacity to do what Michael did, and his “anyone” mask showed it.

 

So, there you have it! This is the definitive, scientific, 100% correct ranking of all the different versions of Michael’s Myers’ mask! What are your favorites? Hit us up on Twitter @NOFSpodcast and let us know! While you’re at it, bookmark our homepage at Nightmare on Film Street so that you can keep up with all the hottest horror news, reviews and retrospectives the internet has to offer.