What’s up, weirdos? Welcome to Awfully Good, where we celebrate rad trash! Since we’re celebrating Women in Horror Month here at Nightmare on Film Street, tonight’s feature stars iconic scream queen Linnea Quigley in what is possibly her coolest role, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama.
This film is one of the defining works in the David DeCoteau canon. For those unfamiliar with David DeCoteau, he’s a genre filmmaker with somewhere between a hundred and a million credits. Furthermore, he seems like a cool guy. His work ranges from straight to video creature features to Lifetime dramas to smooching movies, but for our purposes, it’s best to think of him as a low budget horror expert. And buddy, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama is definitely a low budget horror flick!
“[…] for our purposes, it’s best to think of [David DeCoteau] as a low budget horror expert.”
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama begins like so many other 80s movies: with nerds committing a crime. They’re headed to the Tri Delta sorority house to watch the newest pledges get paddled by the seniors, but they’re gonna watch through the window. You know, like predators! Unlike many other 80s movies where this exact situation happens, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama addresses this. When the creepy nerds are caught peeping, the sorority sisters punish them by making them accompany the pledges to a secluded location. Which is not a great plan, in my opinion.
Anyway, the two pledges and the three stooges are tasked with breaking into a bowling alley at the mall, stealing a trophy, and bringing it back to the sorority house. Unbeknownst to them, but knownst to us, the HBIC has plans at the bowling alley. Her dad owns it, and she knows how to work the security cameras. The sisters are gonna stalk the pledges (and their counterparts), then scare the piss out of them!
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The geeks and pledges make their way into the bowling alley, where they find something much cooler than a trophy. Spider, played by Linnea Quigley, is almost done robbing the Bowl-o-Rama when she’s interrupted by the kids. Spider is the raddest movie character to ever commit some larceny in a bowling alley. Everything she wears is either torn or studded, she has the attitude of a switchblade, her freaking name is Spider, and she’s sarcastic in the fun way from movies. It’s not like in real life when someone says “oh, I have a sarcastic sense of humor” but that means if you ask them if they can hand you something they go “NO” and laugh really hard. Spider’s cool and mean instead. While I’m not qualified to judge the Coolest Movie Character’s Ever (never finished my thesis), I can say that Spider is cooler than all the characters from books. Combined.
The geeks find the trophy, but Spider punctuates a sentence by poking the fat one in the gut with her handy-dandy crowbar. Fat Nerd drops the trophy, and an imp pops out! The imp, named Impy because why not, is a little claymation puppet kinda dude. I know you’re already sold, but he also has little one-liners and loves to make mischief! He doesn’t have enough screen time, for no amount would be enough, but when he’s there he steals the spotlight. He also helps set Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama apart, because how many imp-specific horror movies are there?
“I won’t spoil anything, but you know the gag you always wanna see happen in movies with bowling alleys? Pal, it happens here!”
Impy grants each of the kids a wish. One nerd wishes for a pile of gold (reasonable!), one nerd wishes to bang one of the pledges (not great!), the other pledge wishes to be a prom queen, and the remaining nerd and Spider decide the whole thing’s too good to be true. And hey, they’re right! Impy magically seals the mall and turns two of the sorority sisters into monsters. One becomes a zombie, and the other is straight up the Bride of Frankenstein. The wishes backfire too, revealing the “gold” to be painted wood blocks and the prom queen’s dress just a bunch of tattered rags. Meanwhile, the nerd who wanted to bang the pledge finds she’s more than he can handle.
The monstrous sorority sisters wreak havoc in the mall! I won’t spoil anything, but you know the gag you always wanna see happen in movies with bowling alleys? Pal, it happens here! What will become of Spider and the way less interesting characters in this movie? What hexes and one-liners will Impy spew? How’d he get in the trophy in the first place? Find out by watching Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama! It’s available for streaming on Shudder and comes in right around eighty minutes. For the time investment of like, the first half of a movie based on a book, you can see the coolest role from one of the coolest scream queens in film history!
Are you a sorority pledge, a creepy nerd, or the baddest mofo in the entire world? Let us know over on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook page! For more reviews, recommendations, and mischievous little imps, stay tuned to Nightmare on Film Street.