Welcome to Saturday Morning Scares, a brand spankinโ new column where weโll be taking a look at spooky shows meant for kids! Check this space the first Saturday of every month for the rundown on a creepy cartoon (or live-action show) thatโs fit to serve your family. To kick things off, weโre taking a look at Goosebumps, which served as the entry point for so many horror fans born in the 90s. For example: me!
Look, I know that every horror fan online got into the genre when they did a double feature of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Cannibal Holocaust on their third birthday, but that wasnโt my experience. I got slimed by this television adaptation of R.L. Stineโs immensely successful series of juvenile fiction books. Their menacing (for a kid) covers sat on the library shelves offering tantalizing glimpses into the world of monsters and mayhem waiting just beyond the table of contents.
But, ehhh, books are for nerds, so letโs talk tv.
Goosebumps first invaded the airwaves just in time for Halloween 1995. It ran for four seasons, totaling 74 episodes. Most of the episodes adapted a full Goosebumps book, but there are several two-part episodes for the more involved stories, as well as some episodes that were based on R.L. Stineโs short stories. The show is insanely good. Watching it as an adult two decades after its original run (BARF!), it shows its age- the digital effects in many episodes could probably be replicated with a smartphone and a 99 cent app, and there are waaaaaay more overalls than you might remember. This isnโt necessarily a negative though; it feels more like a window to another time than a painfully-dated piece of disposable pop culture. Am I being wistful and nostalgic because I grew up watching this show? Oh absolutely. But the show is still super good. Letโs take a look at it from the top!
Theme Song: Does It Slap, Or Is It Crap?
Since this is our first run of Saturday Morning Scares, Iโll explain this as we go. For each show we look at, Iโll make a judgement on the theme song. The rules are simple: does is SLAP, or is it CRAP?
For Goosebumps, this is really easy. The showโs intro music is iconic. Itโs creepy, catchy, and it deserves a spot on your Halloween party playlist. If you donโt like this song, thatโs a personal problem. Official rating: SLAP.
I mean, come on. One of the most famous Goosebumps characters is named Slappy.
Best Episodes
There are so, so many great episodes of Goosebumps. There are some duds, but the general quality is so high that it took me a couple of hours and way more tears to narrow down my list. If you stopped me on the street tomorrow and forced me to list my favorite Goosebumps episodes, thereโs a good chance that Iโd pick a different set than these. Also, Iโd follow you anywhere, and weโd be friends, and thereโs nothing you can do about that. But for today, here are some highlights:
Say Cheese and Die!: In addition to being a great title, this episode features a baby Ryan Gosling! Whaaaaat?!
Attack of the Jack oโ Lanterns: All of Goosebumps feels like Halloween (even the summery episodes) but this episode has some fun effects and a great premise.
Calling All Creeps: This one is surprisingly suspenseful, and actually works pretty well even if you watch it as an adult!
One Day at Horrorland: A two-parter! My favorite of the Goosebumps books, my favorite of the Goosebumps tv shows. Thereโs a scene from part one that has stuck with me my entire life.
The Haunted Mask: Another two-parter! This is one of the iconic Goosebumps images, and was the debut of the show. A very good step in the right direction, if I do say so myself.
Crunch Time
In addition to picking best episodes and judging the theme song for each show, Iโm pleased to announce a Nightmare on Film Street EXCLUSIVE! Every month, Iโll pick a breakfast cereal to eat while you watch the show. For your Goosebumps multisensory experience, I recommend Capโn Crunchโs Halloween Crunch. This seasonal variation on the classic mouth-shredding sugar bomb features ghosts(!) that turn your milk green. Green is the most Goosebumps color for several reasons: itโs the color of the Haunted Mask, itโs the color of Monster Blood, itโs the color of most slimes, itโs classic. Additionally, Capโn Crunch had a Goosebumps keychain in specially marked packages during the showโs run.
Where Are They Now?
So letโs say youโve never seen Goosebumps, and youโd really like to. Where can you see it nowadays? Good news! You can catch Goosebumps on Netflix. You can also pick up select episodes on DVD (or VHS if youโve got space for some more clamshells), but it wonโt be easy to put the entire collection together this way. I recommend watching it on Netflix and never, ever skipping the intro.
That wraps up our inaugural installment of Saturday Morning Scares! I hope you didnโt get too frightened! Are you an old-school Goosebumps die hard? A recent convert? Are you a child, watching the show for the first time? Let us know over on on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit! Not a Goosebumps fan? Then get outta my face!