Josh Ruben’s Heart Eyes (co-written by Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, and Michael Kennedy) is a Valentine’s Day romantic comedy turned slasher that aims for both lovey-dovey sweetness and blood-soaked holiday thrills. Starring Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding, it flutters between cutesy rom-com banter and heart-pounding chases with a doe-eyed killer—though the bumpy pacing and shallow character work keep it from becoming a new holiday staple. Unfortunately, the sharpest thing about this slasher is its one-liners.
“Unfortunately, the sharpest thing about this slasher is its one-liners.”
In Seattle, a serial murderer dubbed Heart Eyes targets couples each February 14th, with detectives Jeanette Shaw (Jordana Brewster) and Hobbs (Devon Sawa) on the hunt. After a gruesome incident at a winery proposal (and news of a never-shown spa massacre), the killer zeroes in on Ally (Holt), a pitch designer fresh off a breakup, and Jay (Gooding), a successful freelancer brought in to rescue her failing campaign. Their spark meets slash when Heart Eyes interrupts their awkward meet-cute, sending them scrambling for survival.
From there, Heart Eyes settles into a routine: the killer shows up, Ally and Jay flee, and the duo’s playful banter picks up again. It’s fun and all, but it undercuts any real sense of peril. By focusing so narrowly on these two leads, the whodunnit aspect never gains traction—there’s barely room to suspect anyone else or indulge in the classic full roster of suspects. It also leaves poor Heart Eyes victimless of impactful kills, forced to sideline side characters while the leads narrowly escape again and again.
Visually though, Heart Eyes is a total knockout. This slasher comes with a My Bloody Valentine-ified Voodoo doll design reminiscent of the obscure Tim Burton-produced 9 (2009), complete with glowing red eyes and some pointy jabbing arrows (also, Jason Voorhees’ machete?). There are a few satisfyingly bloody kills on screen, yet we’re teased with moments like ‘The Valentine’s Day Spa Massacre‘ that occur off camera—missing a prime chance for more larger-than-life camp so well suited to a holiday slasher. But sure, a news report on it is fine, I guess.
On the performance front, Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding make for a charming double feature. Holt brings a plucky determination to Ally, while Gooding delivers a steady supply of dreamboat charm. Jay, however, never really steps beyond being the “perfect catch.” Gigi Zumbado’s best-friend banter and Michaela Watkins’ as the sharp-tongued boss offer a few comedic bright spots. Devon Sawa’s Detective Hobbs, though, remains frustratingly underutilized; he appears sporadically, as if crucial moments that might have made him a prime suspect (or at least raised eyebrows) were trimmed out of the final cut.
Still, Heart Eyes doesn’t skimp on bloodshed when it finally cranks the action back up. Horror fans with an appetite for gore might be satisfied, even if they have to wade through stretches of comedic chitchat and rom-com references that sap the tension.
“Caught in an identity crisis between rom-com and slasher, Heart Eyes still manages a fun, sporadically thrilling Valentine’s date night in”
Caught in an identity crisis between rom-com and slasher, Heart Eyes still manages a fun, sporadically thrilling Valentine’s date night— just don’t hold your breath for a genre game-changer. For lasting holiday horror traditions, you might be better off revisiting 2000’s Valentine for campy heart-shaped kills, the original My Bloody Valentine for classic slasher grit, or Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving for modern holiday bloodletting worth a second helping.
Do you have a crush on Heart Eyes? Let us know your thoughts over in the Nightmare on Film Street Discord Community!
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